Title: MUTUAL DISCIPLINE: A KINGDOM PRACTICE

Focus: Jesus calls us to practice mutual discipline and accountability for the sake of His name and influence in our lives.

Function: To encourage the people to practice mutual discipline and accountability as expressions of Christian love for one another and for Christ.

Text: Matthew 18:15-20

Lord’s Day 31

A family without discipline is a family that invites chaos into the home. A family where no one is in control and where there are no established rules and norms is likely to become a dysfunctional family: tears will flow, chaos will reign, and tensions will rise continually.

Likewise, a person who lives an undisciplined life is a person that opens himself up for all kinds of problems. Think about the undisciplined behavior of many adolescents and college students as they have their annual Spring breaks, with riotous drinking, reckless sexual immorality, and blatant use of illicit drugs.

It’s in this kind of world that Jesus calls us to practice mutual discipline and accountability.

The state of mutual discipline and accountability is very precarious or dubious in North America. There are a number of reasons for that, I think. Reasons such as:

· American individualism: It is part of our history, our genetic makeup as a nation to focus on rugged individualism that pays very little attention to what others may think or say. MYOB—mind your own business is a slogan that captures this American individualism.

Another reason for the poor state of mutual discipline and accountability is

· The prevalence of relativism: You know, the notion that says that there is no absolute truth, no absolute rights or wrongs. You can capture the spirit of relativism today with the ancient Biblical reference in the book of Judges that says: “And everyone did what was right in their own eyes.”

Perhaps, another good reason why there is little mutual discipline or accountability in our nation or homes is

· Our personal feelings or sensitivity: In being sensitive to the feelings of someone else, we may decide to refrain from speaking the truth or from exposing falsehood or from admonishing a person. Since there is a risk involved—the risk of hurting a person’s feelings—we may decide to ignore the wrong. And let’s be honest when it comes to feelings: who likes to be corrected or challenged by someone else?

Another reason why the state of mutual discipline is weak, especially in the church, is

· A sense of inadequacy: We just don’t know how to admonish and exhort each other to do or say the right thing. Who are our models for mutual discipline? Many of us will be able to tell stories of how church members in the past went for each other’s throat instead of hearts. The history of the Christian church, including the CRC, is rife with acrimonious splits that have divided families and relatives and friends for decades.

Many of us who grew up in the midst of such acrimony and dispute are leery today of expressing any kind of disagreement, let alone admonishing each other for the sake of Christ and his kingdom. A sense of inadequacy, then, may explain the lack of practicing mutual discipline and accountability in our midst.

So, what do you do with these words of Jesus: “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses”?

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In this passage, the Lord Jesus is calling us to practice discipline and accountability. Verses 15-16 focus on mutual discipline, where the spotlight is on two individuals or parties. And verses 17-20 focus on church or corporate discipline, where the leadership of the church exercises its God-given authority in cases of public sin and heresies. Today, I want to focus primarily on mutual discipline or accountability.

The context of Jesus’ challenging call to us helps us to understand what Jesus is trying to teach us. The disciples had come to Jesus with the question, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Taking a little child, Jesus said: “…whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Then the Lord Jesus warns us against the evil of tempting others to sin, saying: “If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Then, while referring to children as sheep, Jesus tells a parable about a lost sheep. And Jesus makes it clear that his followers must make it their business to go after the lost sheep. In other words, we must earnestly work toward bringing erring members of the flock back to the fold.

It’s in the context of the kingdom of God, of childlike humility, protection of the sheep, and earnestness to restore wayward sheep and find and bring lost sheep back to the Father’s fold—it’s in that context that Jesus calls us to practice mutual discipline and accountability. Discipline matters in God’s kingdom. Mutual discipline is a kingdom practice. Discipline is normal and fitting in the church of Christ.

Now let’s take note of three key terms in the text: “Brother”—Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you….” The term “brother” is a kinship term; it defines the boundaries for mutual discipline. I am not to discipline my next-door neighbor who is not part of the church, or my co-worker who could not care less about Christ or the Christian faith. No, Jesus reminds us that mutual discipline must take place within the church, within the family of God, among brothers and sisters of the household of faith.

The next key word is “sins”—Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you….” Mutual discipline should take place when a fellow Christian misses the mark, that is, violates God’s Word, or rebels against God’s explicit commands. One commentator (Hendriksen) paraphrases Jesus’ words by saying, “If a member of the Christian fellowship obviously misses the mark, so that his conduct toward you is clearly not in keeping with the demand of God’s holy law…”, “then go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” Mutual discipline among brothers and sisters centers on matters of transgression or sins.

The other key word or phrase is “show him his fault”—Literally, the Lord Jesus says: Bring to light, expose, make transparent, set forth, correct, reprove or convince or point out to that person that what is sinful or grievous in light of God’s Word.

Mutual discipline is not about finger pointing or condemning someone; rather, it’s about helping the person see the error of his way or conduct, or the heresy or false teaching of her particular doctrine. Mutual discipline, then, is about bringing a person back to Christian conduct or teaching. Mutual discipline, in fact, is a kingdom practice. It’s wholesome; it’s healthy; and we need to take it seriously in our midst.

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Now how must we go about this business of mutual discipline and accountability? Let me share some insights and give you some pointers from Scripture:

· Mutual discipline is to be done, primarily, in private, out of the public eye. “Just between the two of you,” says Jesus. Private, open, honest, heart-to-heart, constructive conversation or dialogue is a Christ-like approach. If you are looking for repentance, and your brother continues in his sin, then you engage some other Christians in the conversation with the wayward brother or sister.

· But that leads me to my next pointer or insight: engaging others in the matter must be done out of the public eye, and it is to be done for your sake and for the sake of the person whom you seek to hold accountable. I say for our sake, because it may very well be possible that I may be mistaken. The wisdom and judgment of the other witnesses may be such that I have to admit that I am wrong in the matter. Sometimes it takes our spouse, or a friend, or another wise person to keep us from making mistakes and drawing wrong conclusions.

· Here, then, is another insight for those who find themselves in a position of mutual discipline or admonishment: Practice humility and consider your own tendency to fall into temptations or sin. This was very much on Paul’s mind when he said to the church in Galatia: ”if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” We are flawed creatures, prone to sin, in need of daily grace and forgiveness. But that should not keep us from exercising mutual discipline.

I say that in light of another biblical insight. Over the years, I’ve come to value the times when someone tried to point out a sin or harmful practice or attitude. (It took time to get to that point, and I can’t claim that I am good at taking criticism well). But I am learning that being held accountable by other Christians is a gift of love; it’s an expression of care. And as long as you and I sense that Christian love surround the criticism or call to repentance, we can respond to the discipline with greater ease. For it is the love and care expressed in the mutual discipline that often breaks down hardened hearts and stubborn resistance. The love inside the mutual discipline is the pathway to repentance or to desired changes in our lives.

Looking back over all these years, I am grateful for parents, pastors, a neighbor, some teachers, a precious wife, four kids who kept me honest and on my toes, and for the countless caring church members who had the courage and who took the time to set me straight whenever I strayed from the pathway of God’s Word. God used their discipline to shape me in the person I’m today.

I pray that you, too, will come to see mutual discipline and accountability as a loving practice in the kingdom of God. The church of Christ can’t do without such love and care.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.