Title: WHAT’S A KID OR PARENT TO DO?
Focus: All Christians must accept and submit to the authority structures ordained by God, the sovereign King.
Function: To encourage the people to see themselves as stewards, managing God’s gifts to us within the authority structures established by God.
Texts: Proverbs 1:8,9; 20:20; 23:22-25
Confession: Lord’s Day 39
INTRODUCTION
I grew up in the 60’s. That was a time of rebellion against any established authority. The air of revolt was the air we breathed: we drove our parents crazy with our music, long hair, and “go-fly-a-kite” attitude. Some of our teachers developed gray hairs in a very short time; some students never finished high school as they were booted out.
The home and school were not the only battlefields; we also rebelled against the church. In those days, our Catechism class deteriorated into a circus, where we clowned around and pestered the pastors and elders. Looking back, I now realize more and more that the 5th commandment had no grips on me and my peers.
In the fifth commandment, God says: (Deuteronomy 5:16) “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Sometimes, when parents read this commandment in the presence of their kids, they are tempted to say: “Ok, kids. Listen up. Here’s what God wants you to do.” Thus we tend to think that the fifth commandment is for kids only.
But that’s mistake. In fact, the fifth commandment concerns all people, especially, Christians. For Christians recognize that God is King, and that God rules through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Therefore, the fifth commandment calls us—young and old alike--to submit to the authority structures ordained by God, our King.
When God said to the Israelites in the desert, “Honor your father and mother, ” God was not speaking to children and teenagers only. God spoke to all the people. And in the fifth commandment God calls all the people to pay attention. For you see, the wideness or scope of the fifth commandment includes individuals, families, organizations and groups of people that make up a society.
Listen again: “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Note that the fifth commandment moves from children and parents (the family structure) to society at large. And note that as God orders the family, he has in view your well-being and the well-being of the nation. When God speaks to the Israelites at Mount Sinai, he is speaking to a huge band of unorganized slaves that have just fled Egypt. These Israelites have just tasted freedom, and they are on their way to the promised land of Canaan. But they have no clue what it takes to live as a nation under God, their King.
So, the Lord teaches them and reminds them of his will for them. In order for God’s rule to permeate our lives, we must acknowledge his authority over us. And so God establishes authority spheres: parents, schools, synagogues, churches, employers, government organizations, police officers, the army. And it’s God’s intent that these entities or spheres acknowledge his rule. In other words, God rules us through these various persons, people groups, organizations, and structures. And when we submit to these authorities (which God has established), we shall flourish, and experience shalom, and in general, a long life.
Look at what’s happening in countries where the authority structures break down: chaos and sectarian and ethnic strife becomes the norm—and people die because of the chaos and anarchy. When everyone becomes a law unto himself, he is bound to run into trouble and destruction. Because anarchy—whether in the home, the schools, or in society—leads to misery and death. Do you see now that God’s intent in the fifth commandment is for our well being? God is not a tyrant or bully. Rather, God expresses his love for us and the world by delegating his authority to parents, teachers, employers, police officers, and government officials.
And thus I say it again, let us all accept and submit to the authority structures ordained by God the King.
Sometimes, when children question the authority of Mom or Dad, a parent will say: “…because I say so.” This is a common mistake among us, parents. You see, the fifth commandment is about God’s will for us; it’s not about my will for my kids, but God’s will for us children and parents. This is why we do well to listen to the question and answer in L.D. 39: “What is God’s will for you in the fifth commandment?” “That I honor, love, and be loyal to my father and mother and all those in authority over me; that I obey and submit to them, as is proper, when they correct and punish me; and also that I be patient with their failings—for through them God chooses to rule us.”
Did you notice? The question highlights God’s will for us, and that last phrase explains that God wishes to rule us through the authority structures he has put in place—structures such as parents, teachers, pastors, elders, employers, police officers and government officials.
So what’s a kid or a parent or any other individual to do in light of God’s will expressed in the fifth commandment?
First of all, we must acknowledge that God clothes us with authority at certain stages in our lives, and in all kinds of different settings and places. When I was a child or teenager, I did not have the same authority that came to me when I became a young adult, or a student living on my own, or when I became a husband and father. And when I was a student, I did not have the authority that God has given me now by virtue of my office as a pastor. No matter in what position or stage of life I find myself, I must acknowledge that it is not about me, but about God who chooses to advance his rule and kingdom through me and through my sphere of influence.
That leads me to my second point: parents, in particular, must see themselves as stewards of their children. The children we have are God’s gifts to us. God gives them to us to raise them in the fear of God, so that they will seek him, and worship and serve him. This is why we read in Solomon’s wisdom saying these words: “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Why not? Because parents are stewards who teach their children the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom.
What’s a parent, or a kid, or anyone else for that matter, to do when it comes to the fifth commandment?
Honor: We are to honor the office or position that God assigns to people. By honoring the place and person of authority, we honor God who gives that authority.
Love: We must love the person whom God places over us in our care. This is nothing new, of course. God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves. But we are to love especially our parents.
Be Loyal to: We must be loyal to our parents, especially when they grow old and become frail and weak or poor or helpless. Caring for those who cared for us calls for loyalty or commitment to our parents. In that way we also honor and love God, who blessed us through our parents.
Submit: I am to obey and submit to my father and mother, and to all those in authority over me, as is proper. That is, as God wishes his rule to be advanced through them in my life. For example, telling my children that I want them to go to law school so that they can make a lot of money, is not a proper parental thing to do. I must seek God’s will for the children, as they need to develop their lives for God’s sake and kingdom. Correction and discipline or punishment must also be applied properly: As God does not bully us, so I must not bully the children. Surely, my authority as a Dad does not increase when I raise my voice. When parents apply measured, proper disciplinary acts they are reflecting God’s love for the children. We must always seek to advance God’s love and rule through our role and actions as parents.
Be Patient: I like this one: Parents and kids and all
other people need to be patient with the failings of those in authority over
them. Children know intuitively that Mom and Dad are not perfect. They will put
up with our imperfections; yes they will accept us as we are—when we also admit
to them our sins and imperfections. That’s why they need to hear from us
sometimes these words: “I am sorry!” “I was wrong.”
Politicians fail at times; police officers make mistakes, schoolteachers are not perfect; neither are pastors and elders or deacons; we all have our failings. Therefore, we all need to be patient with each other as God seeks to rule us and shape our lives through them.
I
realize, congregation, that I have barely begun to scratch the surface of the
fifth commandment. And when it comes to parenting and children and the
challenges and hurts and questions related to them, so much more can be said.
For now, I encourage all of us to see ourselves as stewards, managing God’s
gifts (including children) to us, in such a way that God’s kingdom may advance.
Why? Because God calls us to submit to the authority structures ordained by him
as sovereign King. This is also why Jesus taught us to pray: “Your kingdom
come! Your will be done.”
May God give us much strength and wisdom as we seek to honor him by doing his will as expressed in the fifth commandment. Amen.