INTRODUCTION

The relationship between God and his people—which is called a “covenant relationship”—is held together by a promise: “I shall be your God; you shall be my people.” We often break our promise for we are prone to sin. But God never does. God keeps faith in his relationship with us. Fidelity—the keeping of faith—is God’s hallmark.

The relationship between a husband and wife—which is called “marriage” is held together by a promise: “I, Jack, take you, Rosanne, to be my wife and I promise….” More than 25 years ago, my wife and I made a promise to each other in the presence of God and many people. And ever since that day, we have been practicing fidelity; we work at keeping faith in our relationship.

But why? Because marriage rests upon the practice of keeping faith with each other. Fidelity draws upon trust, builds upon trust, and needs trust to strengthen and nurture the bonds of marriage. Fidelity, then, is very important.

In the seventh commandment, God calls us to practice faithfulness in marriage: “You shall not commit adultery.” If you think of the 7^th commandment as a coin with having at least two sides, then negatively--on the one side--God warns us about infidelity, but positively, on the other side, God calls us to keep faith in marriage. God does both: by issuing a warning, he calls us to practice fidelity in marital relationships. Fidelity is very important.

THE PASSAGE: OBSERVATIONS

In his letter to the Corinthian church, Paul writes some very pointed things about sexuality and marriage. The inspired apostle is very frank—some might even say—blunt about sexual matters and intimacy. Lots of people are surprised to discover that God has something to say about what goes on in the bedroom. And yes, lots of Christians, including pastors, don’t always know what to do with the words of advice found in the passage. This passage is like a can of worms. So, we do well to take note of

Its Context: Paul writes this letter to a church filled with new converts found in a thoroughly pagan city. Corinth is known for its sexual immorality, which is practiced and condoned by temple prostitutes. Aphrodites is the goddess of fertility. And thousands of people pray to her by copulating with temple priestesses in the service of Aphrodites. This was common practice in the days of Paul.

St. Paul’s advice on sex and marriage comes to us also in the context of persecution. Christians are being harassed for their faith in Christ. Living normal, stable family lives is hard to do when you are on the run. And it’s hard to take care of your spouse and kids when your own life is in jeopardy. In that context, being single may have a lot of benefits. And we must keep this context in mind when we hear Paul write to us in this passage.

Also, the early Christian church had a strong expectation that time is short, that Christ will return very soon. In fact, the early Christians expected Christ to return in their own lifetime. In that context, Paul’s advice to singles and married people take on a different flavor. For the sake of the kingdom of Christ and the spread of the gospel, living the single life may very well be the best thing to do as a disciple of Christ.

So, keep in mind the context of the passage as you listen to Paul’s words on sex and marriage and on being single.

Also, note in this passage

Its Underlying Question: Paul begins this passage with the words: “Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.” Underlying that statement is the question: Is it good for a man to remain celibate, to remain single? And that question makes sense in the context of people (and some of them were teachers in the church community) who say that sexual intercourse and anything that relates to the human body is inferior, or bad, or something to be avoided or only tolerated. There were teachers in Paul’s days (and they are still among us today) who elevate the spiritual and condemn the physical; in their book what is spiritual is superior and good; what is physical is inferior and bad.

So in the Christian church of Corinth there were discussions about sex and marriage and celibacy. And the members were confused about these matters: “Is it good for a man to remain single? Should we de-emphasize marriage? Should we discourage and yes frown upon the practice of sexual intercourse, because these are inferior to the matters of the soul and faith?” Well, note

Paul’s Answer in this passage: In the context of sexual immorality in Corinth, and in the context of people who struggle with burning sexual passion and lust, Paul says: (vs. 1b)“It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” In verses 8 and 9 Paul repeats his answer when he says: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Here Paul gives a reason for marriage, namely to avoid sexual immorality. But we should not conclude that this is the only reason for marriage. Paul is NOT giving us a full-fledged theology of marriage. He is simply giving some advice that is colored by the cultural context of the church in Corinth.

However, what is very clear from Paul’s answer and advice is this: God is keen on fidelity. God seeks the avoidance of sexual immorality. And the relationship of marriage provides people with a proper context in which to express themselves sexually, as God intends. This much is clear from the passage and text: in matters of marriage, fidelity is very important.

THE PASSAGE: INSIGHTS

When it comes to fidelity, there are two insights I wish to highlight from the text. Both insights call for an awareness on our part:

Number One: Be Aware of Each Other’s Needs:

Listen: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” When a man and woman enter marriage, they pledge fidelity to each other. They owe each other trust, and with that trust comes also the obligation or duty to meet each other’s physical, or sexual needs. This is a need that gets to the core of our being and is not merely physical, but also spiritual. It’s a need for intimacy where a husband and wife—body and soul—melt into one and find a fleeting wholeness. Husbands and wives do well to be aware of each other’s marital needs.

And thus Paul warns against playing games in marriage. Sometimes, the impulse to get even with our spouse, or to manipulate our spouse may tempt us to ignore our spouse’s needs. Listen: (vs. 4,5a) “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by consent and for a time….” Be aware of each other’s needs.

In this context, Paul also calls attention to the devil. Here we have insight Number Two: Be Aware of Satan’s Opportunistic Attacks: Satan is not big on keeping faith in marriage. He likes to wreck our relationships with the wrecking ball of infidelity or unfaithfulness. And Paul reminds us that Satan strikes that wrecking ball at vulnerable moments in our marriage or relationships, for example. Depression, anger, stress, frustration, dissatisfaction or plain lust—these may all be factors which make us vulnerable to attacks. Therefore, let’s be aware of our own vulnerability and, whether single or married, let’s practice fidelity.

THE PASSAGE: APPLICATIONS

But how to practice fidelity? How shall we remain faithful as single and married people? How do we honor God’s intent for us, in marriage as well as outside of marriage?

Learn to set boundaries: It is not a good idea when you are married to spend Friday evenings in a local bar with your friends while your spouse is taking care of your kids. It’s not a good idea for a widow and a widower to go on a bus tour and spend the night in a one-bedroom hotel “just to save some money.” It’s not a good idea to subscribe to Playboy magazine, so that your teenage son and daughter can learn about the “birds and the bees.” It’s not a good idea to spend time alone with your secretary at work till late in the evening hours when all your colleagues have gone home. Set boundaries, then, which protect your marriage and the relationships of others around you. Be very clear on what is appropriate for you and those close to you.

Also, set boundaries which build up and strengthen your marriage. A wife who speaks disrespectfully of her husband in public invites troubles for herself. You make yourself vulnerable; you send out the wrong signals, for there is always someone out there in the public who may take advantage of your unhappiness. Of course, the same is true for husbands. Disrespect for our spouse will only boomerang and increase alienation and anger between couples. Let’s set boundaries. Let’s guard our relationships; let’s speak well of each other.

Keep intimacy where it belongs: Intimacy is a gift that belongs to marriage; intimacy is the gift of being able to be totally vulnerable with your spouse, of being totally accepted by your spouse, of being and feeling fully cared for and accepted. Intimacy is a gift that comes to us in prayer, and it comes to us in marriage as well. Spiritual intimacy in prayer is God’s gift to all who seek him. Physical intimacy is God’s gift that comes to its best expression for all who are married.

Now, keep the physical gift of intimacy where it belongs: in our marriage. It’s is one thing to be frank with my friends or acquaintances. But it’s quite something else for me to share personal stories of intimacies with my friends. Certain things in marriage are to be shared with no one other than our spouse—not even our parents or our children are entitled to hear what rightfully belongs to Mom and Dad. Be discreet. Keep intimacy between you and your spouse where it belongs—in your marriage.

In a society that thrives on the latest sex trysts and bedroom secrets of Hollywood stars and politicians alike, let’s practice fidelity and keep intimacy where it belongs. In a culture that has lost all sense of propriety, all sense of decency, and all sense of common morality, let us set boundaries that help us keep faith in marriage, yes, in all our relationships. For that is pleasing to God. And, it will bring shalom, wholeness to all of us.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.