Title: THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX
Focus: Know God’s Word on sexuality. It will bring joy and wholeness in all your relationships.
Text: I Corinthians 6:12-20
Confession: Lord’s Day 41
“Practice makes perfect,” so goes the saying. But what if the practice is wrong? I am thinking, for example, of how people express their sexuality and view sexual intercourse. The public at large, led by public institutions of higher education, tends to operate that there is no right or wrong. They believe that sex and sexual matters are purely private and of no concern to anyone else. But what about you and me?
In his 7th commandment, God says to his people: “You shall not commit adultery.” So in light of God’s will let’s do a little test: I will make four statements. There are three possible answers to each statement: True, False, and Who Cares?
Here are the questions: No. 1. It is all right for Christians to go to bed with somebody else’s spouse, as long as it is done in private, secretly.
No. 2. It is all right for Christians to get sexually involved, including a nightstand of sorts, as long as there is mutual consent and precaution is used to avoid sexual diseases or pregnancies.
No. 3 When Christians date someone, the last and basically least important question to ask is this: “Does this person know Jesus Christ and uphold Christ’s rule in our lives and world?”
No. 4. Sexual intercourse is nothing more but a physical, natural thing, providing relief and pleasure.
If our answer to these questions included “True” or “Who Cares?”, or if we find ourselves waffling on these questions, we do well to know God’s Word on sexuality. Such knowledge and practice of that knowledge will bring joy and wholeness in all our relationships.
THE PASSAGE
Some of us here may object and say, “Do we really have to be so explicit about sexual matters? After all, this is a church, where young and old alike come together.” “Do we really have to follow the example of the world and talk about sex as if we are talking about the weather?” My response is simple: Yes, we must. We shall do so with sensitivity, with discernment, and in an appropriate manner. But we must. Here’s why: ignorance on sex and sexual matters hurts the name of Christ and brings dishonor on the church of Christ. Listen to the apostle Paul in the text:
Vs. 15 “Do you not
know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?”
Vs. 16 “Do you not
know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body?”
Vs. 19 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” Ignorance on matters of sex and sexuality is a hindrance in the life of Christians. Let there be clarity on this matter. Know God’s Word on sexuality. It will bring joy and wholeness in all our relationships.
When it comes to our culture and sexuality, not much has changed from the days of Paul and the early Christian church in Corinth. Corinth, for example, had a temple “dedicated to Aphrodite, the goddess of love, whose worshipers practiced religious prostitution.” Converts to the Christian faith, then, had much to learn (or unlearn) as far as sexuality and God-honoring sexual practices were concerned. And Paul discovered that a number of members in the Corinthian church had a ways to go yet in their transformation of sexual practices. In fact, sexual immorality was a huge problem in the church (ch. 5): “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father’s wife. And you are proud!”
There also seemed to be a nonchalant attitude toward sexuality—an attitude that could be summarized in these words: “Everything is permissible for me” (after all, my sins are forgiven and I am free in Christ). Paul’s response to that slogan and attitude is simple: You are right, “Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything.” Paul recognized the need for education for these new members of the Church. Christians need to know certain things about sex and human sexuality. And the proper knowledge and practice of sexuality will bring joy and wholeness in all our relationships.
THE CATECHISM: L.D. 41
Long before the apostle Paul, God spoke on the matter of
sex. In the days of Moses, when God organized a band of refugees from Egypt
into a nation ready to enter the promised land, God spoke these words: “You
shall not commit adultery.” These words of God on sex have echoed
throughout the centuries and shaped millions of lives. The Christian church has
always understood these words through the lens of faith in Jesus Christ. And
the church has interpreted God’s seventh commandment, therefore, in a
comprehensive, yet clear way. Listen to the Catechism for example: Q. What
is God’s will for us in the 7th commandment? A. God condemns
all unchastity. We should therefore thoroughly detest it and, married or
single, live decent and chaste lives.” Q. Does God, in this commandment,
forbid only such scandalous sins as adultery? A. We are temples of the
Holy Spirit, body and soul, and God wants both to be kept clean and holy. That
is why he forbids everything which incites unchastity, whether it be actions,
looks, talk, thoughts, or desires.
Take note of these two things (they both relate to posture, to attitude): 1. God condemns all unchastity. That’s a posture of judgment and clear displeasure. Such a posture comes to us as a warning. 2. We, the people of God, must learn (negatively) to thoroughly detest unchastity and (positively) live decent and chaste lives. Such a posture is a tall order in today’s culture and society. Yet, this is what God looks for from us.
Also, ponder the meaning of the word chastity and unchastity. Chastity comes from the word “chaste” which means: pure, virginal, clean living, wholesome, decent, virtuous, untainted. The opposite or antinomy of chaste is: promiscuous, impure, lewd, obscene, wanton, immodest, immoral unwholesome, sullied, soiled, dirty, and tarnished, for example. When you ponder these words and their meaning, you begin to realize that God is looking out for us in the 7th commandment. God desires that we live wholesome, pure lives, using our sexuality within the boundaries set by Him and designed for our well-being. Knowing God’s Word on sex and sexuality, then, brings joy and wholeness in all our relationships.
BACK TO THE PASSAGE
So, when it comes to sex and human sexuality, what must we know—and practice--in light of God’s Word? From the text, I submit the following:
·
Human sexuality and sexual
intercourse matter to God. God has something to say on these things. And that’s not surprising, because God has made us; He is the One who dreamed up our physical design and our bodily functions. God has made us in such a way that men and women can relate in meaningful and wholesome ways, respecting their individuality and honoring their relationships—whether we are single or married. Sin spoils our relationships. Sin has also stained all of creation, including our genes and physical makeup. But God has given us his Word to navigate our lives, our bodies, and our relationships in such a way that we can honor him when it comes to our sexuality and sexual relationships. In fact, Paul says, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. God has a lot to say when it comes to the use of our bodies. Human sexuality and sexual intercourse, then, matter to God.
·
Human sexuality and sexual
intercourse are matters of body and soul. Hollywood and popular culture portray human sexuality generally as purely a physical, bodily thing. Sex is natural. And therefore, sexual practices-in whatever way or shape—are natural things that should be accepted and promoted as widely as possible. Medical experts, ethicists and philosophers of all sorts tend to say “Amen” to that. And thus they treat human sexuality and sex from a purely physical, natural point of view. Many will go so far as saying that people consist of flesh and bones, of trillions of cells—and that’s it. But God wants us to know that human sexuality and sexual intercourse are matters of body and soul.
In other words, our sexuality and our practices of sex touch upon or affect our whole being—body and soul. Sexual intercourse goes deeper than the body. It seeks intimacy, a melting of two people into one. Why do you think it is that a spouse becomes rattled and jealous and deeply hurt when he discovers his wife committing adultery? Why do you think there is so much inner pain and emotional turmoil when a wife discovers her husband’s sexual escapades with other women? Hollywood has it wrong! Our sex-driven culture has it all wrong: human sexuality and sexual intercourse go deeper than flesh and bones. Sex concerns our whole being: body and soul.
·
Sexual intercourse and the
coming together of a man and woman is about unity and about uniting. Here we touch upon intimacy, where two human beings in the act of sexual intercourse become one in unity. Sexual intercourse is an act of physical, emotional and spiritual bonding, whereby a ‘knowing’ takes place that cannot be experienced in any other way. Such “knowing,” when practiced within the boundaries of marriage, brings joy and wholeness into our lives. But when practiced outside the boundaries of marriage, such knowing or sexual intercourse leads to emptiness, disappointment, disillusion, and yes, to misery in all kinds of different ways. When Christians, then, have sex outside the boundaries of marriage, they violate their relationship, not only with their spouse, but also with their Lord.
Listen: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh,’ But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.” That’s why is important for all Christians, young and old alike, to know and practice this truth: sexual intercourse and the coming together of a man and woman is about unity that affects both our relationship with the Lord Jesus and with the person we have sexual intercourse. One more thing to know:
·
Sexual intercourse calls for
purity and fidelity so that the Holy Spirit may continue his work within us and through us. Listen: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” Listen carefully, guys and girls! They may think that you are prudes, way out of it. But I tell you: it is God’s will for you and me to be sexually pure. In that way, we shall experience wholeness and joy in all our relationships. Blessed are you when you set your boundaries in marriage and outside of marriage. Blessed are you when you say “NO” to that so-called friend who wants more from you before marriage than friendship and kinship. Blessed are you when you renounce common-law living as an acceptable lifestyle. And blessed are you when you offer yourself to the Lord, holy, and pure, for God to unfold your life, and for the Holy Spirit to indwell you and bring joy and wholeness to you in all your relationships.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen